Here are three field-tested strategies to cut someone off while maintaining their dignity—and your sanity.
1. The "Soft Pivot" (Redirection)
The hardest thing for a customer to hear is a flat-out "No." It feels confrontational. Instead of slamming the door shut, try gently steering the car in a different direction.
The goal here is to break the cycle of "finish drink, order another." You need to interrupt that pattern with something positive that isn't alcohol.
How to do it:
Don't wait for them to ask for the next round. When you see their glass getting low and you know they're done, swoop in with an alternative before they order. Be enthusiastic.
The Food Pivot: "Hey, before we do another round, you have got to try these nachos. Seriously, they’re the best thing on the menu. Want me to put an order in for you?"
The Hydration Pivot: Drop a large glass of ice water with a lemon slice in front of them along with their current drink. "Here’s some hydration chaser for you, boss. Gotta pace yourself for the weekend."
By offering something, rather than taking something away, you seem helpful rather than restrictive.
2. Depersonalize It (Blame the System)
Sometimes the Soft Pivot doesn't work. They push back and demand that next whiskey. This is where things can get tense if it becomes "You vs. Them."
Don't let it become a personal battle of wills. Shift the blame off yourself and onto a third party that neither of you can control: The Law, The House Rules, or "The Cameras."
How to do it:
Use "I" statements that focus on your job security, not their drunkenness. Avoid saying "You're drunk." Instead, say "I can't."
The Legal Angle: "Man, I would love to, but with the strict alcohol laws here in Montana, my license is on the line. I can't risk it tonight. Let's grab a soda for now."
The "Big Brother" Angle: (Keep your voice low, like you're conspiring with them). "Look, I like you, but the manager is watching the cameras like a hawk tonight. If I serve you another, I’m fired before you finish it. Don't do that to me."
When you make it about your inability to serve rather than their inability to handle it, it preserves their ego and de-escalates the situation.
3. The "Tag Team" (Call for Backup)
There is no shame in knowing when a situation is above your pay grade. If a customer is aggressive, significantly larger than you, or just not listening, do not try to be a hero on an island.
Professional establishments operate as a team. If you have cut someone off in your mind, your co-workers need to know immediately so the customer doesn’t just walk to the other end of the bar and order from someone else.
How to do it:
The Huddle: Briefly inform your fellow bartenders or servers: "Guy in the blue hat on stool four is done. Do not serve him."
The Manager Hand-off: If the customer argues after you've tried strategies 1 and 2, get a manager. "I hear you, but that’s my final decision. If you want to discuss it further, I can grab my manager for you."
A manager's physical presence often signals that the decision is final. It removes you from the line of fire and lets leadership handle the difficult conversation.
Confidence is Key
Cutting someone off is never fun, but it doesn’t have to be a disaster. The key is delivering the message with calm confidence. If you waver, they will push. If you are firm, respectful, and clear, most people will eventually accept it.
Learning these soft skills—how to read people, how to de-escalate, and how to communicate boundaries—is a huge part of what we cover in Montana RASS Training. We don’t just teach you the laws; we teach you how to apply them in the real world without losing your cool.